Sonia (iced_pink) wrote in teen_graduates,

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my update

So I'm Sonia, 18 and from Manchester.
I did the Landmark Forum for Teens in London from August 5th, 6th, 7th and it was the most moving, inspiring, fantastic experience of my life and i acknowledge everyone who was there and contributed to the awesomeness that it was!
how has the forum impacted my life? it's been fantastic and i still feel empowered. i have breakthroughs everyday and i just feel so good about myself - a feeling i've not felt in a very long time! i still feel confused sometimes because i don't have anyone in my family who's done the forum to talk about things with me but that'll soon change! hehe =P


on monday when i got home I recognised 3 rackets I was running on my dad and my brother just in the space of an hour!

I guess I was pretty naive in thinking that what I learnt in the forum would have an impact straight away. i actually found it pretty difficult to "give up being right" in the heat of the moment when i was angry etc. and left the room to think. I returned a few minutes later and explained to dad why i was upset by what he said (by sharing) and i eventually got off of all 3 rackets. by sharing i told something to dad that he never knew about me so this was good because it contributed to our "open, honest, loving relationship" that i've created as a possibility.

a couple of hours later i still didn't feel complete - i didn't have the same feeling that i had had down in london when i had breakthroughs so i was thinking about what was missing and it came to me at night in bed lol - whether i felt right or not doesn't mean anything because it doesn't change what's happened or what was said. obviously, to us now, this is incredibly obvious but at the time i can't believe i didn't remember it.

anywho, so since then i've not had any rackets and i've had lots of breakthroughs which is great!

i also can't believe it's been 3 days since i got back and i've not felt depressed or unhappy.
it's completely unbelievable for me but I understand why (for once!)


i hope right now that I can sustain these amazing feelings of empowerment throughout the coming months of school. It's easy for me to feel this way now because I'm relaxed and at home... but I still see school as a way of holding me back in my future (it's always been a huge source of stress and pressure for me), especially if they don't let me do Geography if i don't get a good enough grade =(

i hope you're all doing ok too =)
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